With all this talk of captains’ logs, why have we yet to see a toilet in Star Trek?
I have scanned almost every single blueprint of various Federation vessels and have yet to spot bathrooms outside of personal quarters. What if I am on the bridge and need to fire off a couple of biological torpedoes? I have to run back to my quarters? Or in a real biobreak red alert, can I transport to the latrine?
The closest we ever get to mentioning the john is when crew members mention the ‘fresher or refresher as it were. Memory Beta is so kind to inform us that “24th-century refreshers disposed of waste material with transporter-based dematerialization process, breaking waste into simple inert compounds, which could then be utilized in other replication systems within an integrated system. Portable ‘freshers could also be deployed on [a] temporary emergency basis, safely keeping the inert matter in storage.” I think every one of us would like to see this process in action, especially the “transporter-based dematerialization process”.
My question is: where do those molecules rematerialize? “My, Seven, that is a mighty big piece of chocolate cake you have just replicated.”
And what about on a type-6 or type-9 shuttle? Any of the schematics I’ve reviewed leave the location of the toilet a complete mystery to me. Please, Captain Picard, don’t have me assigned to an away mission on a type-6 shuttle with Mr. Worf after he scarfed down a fresh batch of fatty gagh. I’d rather take a bat’leth to my man parts.
These questions have vexed Star Trek fans for years. Will CBS finally satisfy this crucial query and data dump the facts to us? I think the world is ready to face the facts about ‘freshers. After all, Star Trek has boldly tackled every subject ranging from abortion and androgyny to genocide and racism. The fans have enjoyed exploring such topics. I think its time some brave writer tackle this touchy subject and give us what we want.
Bring on the toilets!
What was Spock doing looking in Kirk’s toilet?
He was searching for the captain’s log.
Why are the U.S.S. Enterprise and toilet paper alike?
They both go around Uranus searching for Klingons.
DS9 often mentions of the waste extraction system, and at one point Quark asks Rom why he’d “want to be knee-deep in waste fixing some broken flow regulator when he could be staring at half-naked Dabo girls” indicating (at least on Cardassian space vehicles) that the “fresher” tech hasn’t exactly been adopted throughout the Alpha quadrant.
In the behind the scenes episode hosted by Jonathan Frakes, he pointed out the toilets on the Enterprise.
I always thought they just shit in the nearest corner and some red shirt had to come by and suck it up with a vacuum. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a crew member cleaning anything. Guess they just let the shit stay on the corners. Huh.
Check the old, official Star Fleet blueprints for the classic U.S.S. Enterprise. I believe it will show two toilets (heads, in naval term) on either side of the entry leading into the Bridge. For the crew quarters, bathing facilities are shown with toilets, shared between 2 cabins. Officers naturally have their own bath suite. Also, in a Star Trek: Net Gen episode there was a good look at Deanna Troi’s bathroom.
Out the door right of the captain’s chair, another right, restroom and toilet right there.
These definitely show toilets located on the bridge.
Well, will you look at that!
Star Trek V: Final Frontier when Spock McCoy and Kirk are in the newly designed Brig Kirk says ‘I gotta sit down’ and does so on what looks very much like a toilet, with lid and cover down. The back (cistern) gives a warning if memory serves about not using in Space Dock.
What did I tell you?
Scanned every blueprint? Each bridge blueprint includes a “head”. In star trek 5, Kirk sits on a toilet in the brig.
Oh. That is what that is..
I thought it was a placde for young ensign’s to relax
There’s also a retractable toilet in the brig of the enterprise A that Kirk pulls out to sit on in ST5 the final frontier..
Erm, Star Trek V The Final Frontier? In the scene in the brig, Kirk pulls a unit out from the wall, marked “do not use in Spacedock” (a very jokey reference to old rail carriage toilets). That was definitely on screen!
This is exactly the type of topic Lower Decks was made for.
Damn my dreams of a transporter waste removal system is crushed after reading these comments.
There was an episode of Enterprise where the crew was answering questions from school children back on earth and Trip was quite indignant to get a “poop” question. The subject has been mentioned. 😊
I remember that! Good catch.
You have nothing better to do fantasize about were the toilet is at? I’m a fan but that not my first priority!